Knowing when to end things: Do what is right for both of you

Ending a relationship is not always easy.

When you still care about the person, and even love them, but are not in love with them, it can be very difficult in fact.

When you know for certain though that you do not care about your partner as a lover anymore, then you need to be upfront and honest with him/her.

Do  not let guilt guide you.  You may be afraid of hurting his/her feelings by breaking up with them. The longer you try to stick things out though, the more it will hurt when you do finally end things.

You must do what makes you happy ultimately in such a case, and if you are not happy in a relationship, do not stay in it just to make the other person happy.  It is not fair to you or them.

Effective non verbal communications

Conversation is key when you are talking to someone you are interested in for the first time.  The dialog needs support though.  Below are some non verbal tips to help you out no matter what you talk about.

1. Eye Contact - you must make solid eye contact.  This does not mean you have to burn a hole through the person you are speaking with your eyes.  Just make sure you are looking them in the face most of the time.

 You can occasionally glance away. In fact this is good so you do not seem too intense.  Remember, this is not a starring contest either, so blink like you would normally.

2.  Smile - Smiling is a sign of welcomeness.  When you do not smile it can indicate disinterest, sadness, anger, etc.  With that being said, if the person you are approaching is not smiling do not be scared.

You are trying to change whatever they are feeling to happiness/welcomeness and get them to smile. Since you are approaching them, you must be smiling first.

3.  Posture - Picture a Drill Sergeant  saying, "head up, back straight, shoulders back."  That is a strong posture. Slouching, hunching, head looking down, shoulders sagging are weak posture.

Weak posture shows lack of self confidence.  Lack of self confidence hurts your chances of successful interaction.

4.  Speech - If you are excited, one way to not tip it off is to not hurry your speech.  Always speak slowly enough to be clearly understood, but not so slow that the person you are talking to thinks you are talking down to them.

Speak loudly enough to clearly be heard, but not so loud it is obnoxious.  Think of how you would like to be spoken to.

5.  Poise - Poise is like posture, only in less a physical sense, and more a mental sense.  Always remember, this is nothing serious.  This is not life or death.  This is not a job interview.  This does not affect your survival.

Be relaxed.  Treat it like it is a game.  Enjoy the experience.  Essentially this is the overall package of everything put together.

Follow the links on the right side for some more helpful information.  Also leave feedback and other suggestions to share with others.

First Date

Do not miss this free dating advice!

 Here are five keys to a successful first date.

1.  Take him/her somewhere other than your house on a first date - unless they request it and you are comfortable with the request

2.  Use manors - this does not mean put on airs about who you are, but some basic common courtesy would be nice

3.  Be honest, but brief - do not lie if asked a question you feel awkward answering, but keep the answer as brief as possible without going into the details 

4.  Find out what he/she likes - in return let them know what you like, and be honest, as you do not have to like the exact same things for them to like you, and remember to mix both common ground and differences to spice up discussions 

5.  Let the date proceed naturally - do not try to cut the date too short even if things are going well and you want to leave on a high note, nor try to force the date to keep going all night just because you feel a vibe..save some for later

Please leave comments to discuss this topic.  Feel free to share your tails of failures and successes on first dates.  Tell us what went right and what went wrong so others may learn.

Keeping Love Alive

Much of what you read here, or elsewhere for that matter, may seem like common sense.  In fact, it is.  Unfortunately it is all too easy for many people, all of us really, to lose sight of the things that look us smack dab in the face.  We tend to over think, or ignore with our conscious mind what deep down we know to be true.

Remember, no one is locked into some non-binding contract with you.  You have to do more than attract someone initially if you want a successful relationship.  You must keep them attracted, as they must do the same to you.  

You can let your hair down at times around them once you get to know them.  There is nothing wrong with getting comfortable and being oneself.  However, this does not mean taking your partner for granted.

So here is a list of eight little things to do on occasion, even if not all the time, to show you still care.

1.        Saying “I Love You”

2.       Random Small Gifts

3.       Hugging, kissing, offering a gentle caress or massage

4.       Smiling and telling them they are still as attractive as the day you met

5.       Opening a door for him or her

6.       Taking him or her on a date of his or her choice or someplace spontaneous (decided based on his/her personality and use your best judgment as to which you think is best)

7.       Prepare a special meal for him or her

8.       Random telephone call just to say you are thinking of him or her

If you have questions or want to make your own suggestions to add to the conversation then please leave comments.

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